Being married for nearly a decade is not exciting. It is comfortable, familiar, advantageous, even admirable — but it is not exciting.
Once upon a time, marriage was alluring and enthralling. A fairy tale full of hopes and dreams and heart palpitations. Now, it’s bickering and farting. It’s delegating and sacrificing, compromising and bargaining.
My husband and I know each other better than we know ourselves. I know exactly what he’s thinking, which better prepares me with snarky responses. And he knows all my flaws, which helps him remind me, you know, in case I forget them. Buttons are fun to push.
But amidst all the familiarity and granted-taking, are the best cuddles, the funniest jokes, the most effective motivation, the deepest connection, the most unwavering dedication, and the greatest acceptance.
Again, not exciting, but definitely unmatched.
The gems in this cavern of matrimonial redundancy are those instances when you catch a glimpse of the fairy tale before. Those times when you find yourselves flirting and teasing and blushing. Or, when you lose him in a store and your eyes land on someone attractive and it takes you a few milliseconds to process that the attractive guy you’re staring at is your husband. Damn!
So while excitement in the form of dates, kisses, phone calls, texts, and candlelit surprises is a thing of the past, it is far from gone. The excitement in marriage is actually in the everyday moments — when you lock eyes in a crowd and share a thought, tickle each other on the couch, make some nerdy joke that no one else would understand, explore a part of the city together, and lock pinkies as you fall asleep.
The excitement is there, but it isn’t one of sweeping adrenaline and spiking hormones. It is an enduring kind, a much rarer, special kind that you must look for to find.
— Coulee Mom
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